The Radiant Polarian Kingdom of Penguin Dictators is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Dorin with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 28.143 billion Polsealians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Polsealia City. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Polsealian economy, worth a remarkable 8,146 trillion Krillems a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 289,455 Krillems, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The weather is the nation's most risqué topic of conversation, chickens frolic freely on swings and roundabouts in Polsealia City's playgrounds, kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, and nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Penguin Dictators's national animal is the Frilly Elephant Bird, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Polsealianism.

Penguin Dictators is ranked 570^th in the world and 1^st in Wintreath for Lowest Crime Rates, with 191.3 law-abiding acts per hour.